I spent large chunks of my early to mid thirties single and frustrated.
I really wanted a loving, committed relationship and couldn't understand why I never seemed to meet men I was interested in - or in fact any men at all. Almost all my friends were women, I never got asked out on dates, and no one even flirted with me. My self-esteem wasn't great, and I felt really unlucky. I had no idea that I was the author of my own circumstances.
It wasn't until I had a sexual and spiritual awakening that my blocks to relationship shifted.
So where had I been going wrong?
There are 3 massive mistakes many single women make that keep them struggling to meet their soulmate:
- Low self-worth. There are many ways this shows up. Here are just a few of them:
- Not prioritising self-care - so not looking after your health, body, emotional well-being; not making time for relaxation, fun and play
- Not receiving touch - either from another through massage or hugs; or from yourself. Self-pleasuring when you are single is so important to keep your sexual energy flowing - and to receive a regular hit of oxytocin (the feel-good hormone released at orgasm)
- Fear of intimacy - subconsciously avoiding relationships because you are scared of the vulnerability of real intimacy, physical or emotional (or both)
- Sabotaging potentially great relationships because you are suspicious of anyone who shows interest in you
- Choosing unhealthy relationships (eg being lied to, left or cheated on) because that's your comfort zone
2. Reinforcing thoughts and beliefs that create an experience you don't want
I hear so many women say that there are no good, single men left. The media loves to support this story. In almost every place I have lived - big cities, small towns, different countries - I have heard this myth perpetuated. Stop telling yourself this. It becomes your experience of reality.
3. Trying to make it happen with the mind
Love is not a problem to be solved, or a puzzle to be worked out.
Trying to work it out with the mind makes it a struggle - lists and logic are not helpful here. Many women have lost touch with their feminine wisdom - which lies in the body's messages not the mind's.
Get back in touch with your body wisdom - and let got of the struggle.
If you want to learn more, I recently ran a free online workshop 3 Massive Mistakes Single Professional Women Make That Keep Them Struggling To Meet Their Soulmate. You can still register to receive the replay until Sunday 6 November 2015 midnight NSW time. Click here to receive the recording..