If you are struggling to find a partner, it might be time to stop – take a breath, relax, change your perspective – and let love find you.
1) Believe that it is possible
According to the media there are basically no single men left anywhere in the world. Every place I have ever lived – big cities, tiny townships and everything in between – in many different countries – I have met gorgeous women lamenting the lack of single men and blaming that for the lack of intimacy and love in their lives. I was one of them – in my 30s I lived in Sydney and fully believed that all the great single men were already taken. And so I went years without even a date! It’s a myth. We create our reality with our thoughts – our beliefs. If you believe there are no available men, there aren’t any available men. If you believe there are – watch them appear.
2) Believe in yourself
Believe that you are worthy of love. Know that you deserve to be adored. Know that you are desirable. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated. So talk to yourself lovingly – as you would to a close friend or loved one. Stop and listen to your inner voice (you may find it’s a constant background hum of negativity). If you wouldn’t talk to your close friend like that, don’t talk to yourself like that! This probably won’t be an overnight change – it’s a practice. I regularly catch myself having a not so kind inner dialogue going on. Once I’ve noticed, I take a step back and change my tone and self talk.
You may find that your inner child needs some nurturing to really begin to believe in yourself. Often the hurt and small parts of ourselves stem from our child self that never had a chance to heal.
3) Believe you can have the relationship you want
Firstly, know what it is you want. Not the outer qualities and attributes so much as knowing how you want to feel in the relationship. Then think about the qualities you admire in friends, and the qualities you have or aspire to have yourself. All our relationships are mirrors of what’s inside. If you feel abandoned in relationships, where do you abandon yourself? If you tend to feel neglected, where do you neglect yourself? Grow the love you want to receive from the inside out.